Episode 38: The Infomercial Hall of Fame

Bill:
Hey everybody, welcome to Too Much CGI. My name is Bill. This is Scott; we love to talk about all the stuff we grew up on. We still love it today. It still survives most of the stuff we love. I mean, shit, when we were kids, did you think Transformers would still be around? I didn’t; I thought it was like a, you know, it only survived when you were a kid, but we grew up. And all this really cool stuff grew up with us, and we love to talk about it. How are you, Scott? What are we talking about today?

Scott:
Today we’re talking about evil consumerism. So, by infomercials, direct-to-consumer marketing, all those great commercials we watch as kids where you can put weight, there’s more.

Bill:
“As seen on TV.”

Scott:
“As seen on TV” is what it became. Absolutely right. But this is going back in the day when you couldn’t buy this stuff in stores. This stuff you had to send away for, you had to call with your Visa, MasterCard or COD. I didn’t even know what the fuck COD was when I was growing up, but that was always the big thing on the blue screen with the phone number and the Visa and the MasterCard and calling them out.

Bill:
I always wondered about the Ginsu knives. It seemed like, for a period, everybody was giving away Ginsu knives, and I’m sure it was one company, and to my dumb head, it seemed like a bunch of different ones, but I’m like, wow, people are really into free knives.

Scott:
We’re going to get into Ginsu. Absolutely. There were a lot of copycats, but Ginsu was the OG when it came to the knife game.

Bill:
And you even said to me, you said, man, listen, there’s gonna be a lot of things I talk about that you’re gonna remember. Because I said earlier, I said, man, I don’t think I remember a lot of infomercials. And then, as I started to think about it, I said, oh, wait a minute, they’re coming back to me.

Scott:
So back in the day, hold on. So, a few episodes back, we were talking about cartoons, and you were talking all about Saturday morning cartoons, and that’s where you focus. And I focused solely on after-school cartoons and the dailies, and I was like, why is that? And I was like, oh yeah, me and my brother Todd, all we watched were infomercials growing up. Saturday mornings, we wouldn’t watch Saturday morning cartoons. We were watching the infomercials.

Bill:
Saturday morning. I only ever sold them at like 3 in the morning when I was 14, feeling like a badass staying up late

Scott:
Oh, no, no. There were some of the late-night ones, too. But now we watch Ron Popeel quite a bit.

Bill:
Hmm, weird Al did a song about him.

Scott:
You sure did.

Bill:
All right, before I go any further, I have a feeling you might have that in your notes to bring up. Everybody, if you want to follow more of too much CGI, you can follow us on Twitter. We’re also on Facebook. All you got to do is use that little search box and type too much CGI. You’ll find us. We’re pretty unique. I don’t think anybody else has our name out there yet. Nobody’s stolen it yet. Other shit to say. You can also go to toomuchcgi.com. You can take a look at our beautiful faces. Not much else to do there. You can find all the places that you can subscribe to, and you can send us an email too. If you want to get involved and send some, if you want to get involved and send stuff into the show, we’ll probably read it. Especially

Scott:
I got nothing else.

Bill:
And also, let’s get this out of the way since we’re doing this. Now we have a sponsor. We’ll do it really quick. Liquid IV, everybody. You already drink it. You already go out and buy it. So, if you don’t mind buying through us, we have a code too much CGI. You can go to liquid IV.com, and you can buy your IV. You can buy your IV. You can buy your IV through us. And that extra couple of bucks really does help us. It pays for some of the hosting fees and all sorts of things like that. So, it’s appreciated. If you don’t do it. We’re probably still gonna do the show. It just means that we have to pay for it all. So, what kind of person are you? Are you gonna support us and go buy your liquid IV through us? What if you don’t drink liquid IV? What if you don’t drink liquid? Oh my God, Scott. What if you don’t drink liquid IV? Bah! What if you don’t drink liquid IV? Will you start for us? That’s the true question.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
How much do you love us? Let me read the… Get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use your code too much CGI, T-O-O-M-U-C-H-C-G-I at checkout. That’s 20% off anything you order when you shop Better Hydration today using promo code too much CGI at liquidiv.com. Scott, I have a couple of things here to talk about, and I don’t know which way to go.

Scott:
Okay.

Bill:
I’ve been watching something like crazy, which is interesting, but I also have a surprise game.

Scott:
Hmm. Are they all related?

Bill:
They are not really related. So, what I’ve been watching, let me give you a little bit more context. I’ve been watching this guy on TV. I’ve never heard of this guy. Let me one second to get my thoughts up. His name is James Randi. Do you know who he is?

Scott:
Never heard of him.

Bill:
Well, we’re going into this. We’ll do the surprise game maybe next or maybe the next episode. So, James Randi is this guy. He’s this old-looking guy, white guy, white beard, balding head. As you look at him, you’d think he was probably named, you know, Freud, because he looks like one of those like the really old type of, you know, the monopoly man. He looks like the monopoly man. But he’s a magician.

Scott:
Okay.

Bill:
And I’m a big fan of magicians.

Scott:
Sure.

Bill:
I fucking hate psychics. I can’t stand them. I find them to be con artists. I have seen them say things to people who believe them to be completely accurate and truth-telling. But these things that they tell them are just completely disturbing and disgusting, and I think they’re con artists.

Scott:
Well, they’re manipulative.

Bill:
Well, so.

Scott:
I don’t see why you lump these two people together. Harry Houdini is possibly the biggest. Well, he’s the most famous magician of all time, arguably, and he absolutely despised psychics and mediums and spiritualists. And he spent much of his life and potential afterlife to prove that they were just frauds. And he had liked a secret word that he and his wife had, where if she were to go to these psychics. He they had this keyword, and if the psychic won’t give the keyword, they were completely full of shit. They were charlatans, and he fucking shut them down. So lumping magicians and psychics or spiritualists together, I’m surprised you’re doing that. I don’t view them in the same vein.

Bill:
The secret was pumpernickel, she told me, by the way. No, so I am actually a thousand percent in agreement with you. James Randi, the guy I’m talking about, also agrees. So, this guy I’m talking about with the fucked up old book and face, he is a magician, like an old-time magician. And he also, like Houdini, thinks it’s completely different when these psychics are saying, you know, oh, I can do this with my mind, and I can do all these things. And James Randi was watching these guys get bigger and bigger. Do you remember a guy named Yuri Geller?

Scott:
I know that name, yes.

Bill:
Okay, so he was a big phenomenon. I think it was like the late 70s. So, I was three, you know, I really don’t have it.

Bill:
maybe he started that whole trend of people that could now move things with their mind and do things and you know I can now read thoughts. Well, that was Yuri Geller’s big thing. He was the spoon bender.

Scott:
Right.

Bill:
Yeah, so he did this one trick, and he would go on tv, and he would rub the part of the spoon where you know, met the little ball part. And he would just kind of rub it softly. And he’s like, if you think about it, you use your mind, you can get this thing to bend. And sure enough, on live TV, it starts bending until finally, he bends; he just softly rubs the thing into two pieces. All right, it’s a parlor trick. And this guy, James Rand, he goes, well, what the fuck? He just lied to everybody. And there’s no way that was real because these kinds of things don’t really happen. I’m a, you know, well-known, well, maybe not well-known. It was the old days. Cable TV wasn’t a thing. So I don’t know how well-known anybody is to anybody across the country these days. But he was like, I’m going to go expose this guy. And he had some show, you can find this on YouTube where this guy, James Randy, just pulls up all these psychics, and he puts them into a test, and he’s like, go ahead. I want you to figure this out, but I’m going to make it a little harder for you. Like he had one guy. He’s like, I’m the magnetic man, and he would put a, you know, big piece of, I think it was a mirror. He had a mirror on top of his chest, and he was walking around, and it was sticking. So this guy will walk up and go, okay, I’d like you to try this again. You’ve agreed to these terms. I’m going to add a certain ingredient, and he’s like, he puts talcum powder on the guy’s chest. Now suddenly, his chest isn’t sticky, and the mirror falls right down. So this guy can figure out every one of these con artists trick. James Randi. Just go search for it on YouTube. Start searching for James Randi. psychic reveal fails, you know all these things, and it is just so fun to watch these guys struggle on live TV. So one of my favorite stories that I found out is an incident where this happened on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. So, Yuri Geller, he’s now super famous because of this trick that he can do. And by the way, the way this trick is done is you bend the spoon a hell of a lot of times before you get on set. And then when you get on set, you take that spoon that’s pre-bent really bad, and your little bit of gentle touching could bend the damn thing. And usually, if you bend it well enough and get the crease going well enough, just a little bit of friction could bend the thing in half and break it, is what I mean. So that’s, by the way, how the trick is done. I taught you guys magic on the radio. How cool. So anyway. He’s going on to the show tonight. I’m talking about Yuri Geller. He’s going on to the night show. Johnny Carson, you know, fancied himself a magician himself. So he’s kind of like, what is this new? phenomenon of these psychics who can do all these amazing things. So Johnny Carson really wanted to challenge Urie Geller, and he reached out to James Randi, and he said, what do I get to do to make sure that this guy can’t fool me? And all he says is he goes, don’t let Urie Geller touch any of the stuff. Anything he brings in, you make sure that you have a perfect replica that you’ve put in its place. You know, so it’s like here’s,

Scott:
Uh…

Bill:
you know, here’s a spoon for you, but I got my own perfectly identical spoon, and I’m going to keep it backstage. So when Yuri Geller goes on stage, there’s all this metal apparatus, is all these things sitting right there on the table. And the clips I saw don’t really explain what he was going to do, but it didn’t happen. So Yuri comes out and Johnny Carson just like, well, OK, Yuri, you say you could do all these things with your mind. We we can’t see that. We can’t wait to see what you do here. And go ahead. And you just watch Yuri go. Something’s not right. Like,

Scott:
Mm-hmm

Bill:
these aren’t my props. Huh, well, okay, I’m gonna need a little bit of time. Well, okay, I mean, how much time do you need? And he goes, well, your producer’s told, like, you know right away it’s going bad when the guy has to go, well, you know, your producer’s told me this was gonna be set up. Like, you can tell he’s kind of like, hey man, I’m stuck out here, help me out. No fucking way. Johnny

Scott:
No lifeline.

Bill:
Carson, no lifeline. Johnny Carson, let this guy just hang.

Scott:
Wow.

Bill:
to the point where it just went to, like, the title card went up, we’ll be right back. And it was just dead silence in the entire studio.

Scott:
Ha ha

Bill:
Look it up, you can find

Scott:
ha!

Bill:
it, just from my explanation, you can figure out what keywords to use. James Randi, and look up that scene from the Johnny Carson show with Yuri Geller. But there were so many of those psychics, so many of them.

Scott:
sure.

Scott:
Even those cold-reading guys that could talk to your deceased relatives, like John Edwards, came about, all those kinds of guys, they were all just a bunch of fucking charlatans.

Bill:
Yeah, on this, there’s a program that James Randy put out. I don’t even know where he put it out. It doesn’t look like an American show. And maybe it is; maybe it was on PBS, where I never watched it. And now it’s running on YouTube. And there’s one segment where he’s; you know what this show is like? It’s like that bullshit show with Penn

Scott:
Well,

Bill:
and Teller.

Scott:
it sounds like, well, it’s Fool Us.

Bill:
Fool Us. Yeah.

Scott:
Yeah, same type deal where they know, but Penn and Teller won’t tell. They’ll use code to kind of explain how the trick is done. Like they’ll say enough keywords at the magicians like, yeah, you got me. And a lot of the stuff’s just like sleight of hand. And they’re really magicians that come on are really damn good at sleight of hand magic and stuff like that and maybe the best at their game. But yeah, they’ll just say a few keywords, and they’ll be like, yeah, you got me. But then there are people that come on there, and they’re just like, I have no idea how you did that. And they’ll just be like, you fooled us. And they’ll give them like the big FU trophy.

Bill:
He revealed this one scene where this giant crowd collected. And this one guy is just sitting here, and he’s like, I’m reading your mind, and he’s saying all these things. You have a sister named Julie, and she’s got problems with her legs. And this woman’s like, how do you know this stuff? And what they had done is they had, what the program had done, James Randi Show is they picked up a frequency and

Scott:
Hehehe

Bill:
they could hear the wife speaking to the guy. All right. Look for Jill or whatever name I gave. So apparently, before the show, these people go, and they fill out these cards, and it’s just, let’s learn some interesting things about you. And these guys jot it down, and that’s what they end up using on the show, and they luckily get somebody simple enough not to realize, hey, this is all the stuff I just wrote down.

Scott:
Or, nowadays, it’s probably even easier because they just go to their Facebook page and see what all these fucking over-sharers are putting on social media and just look up their name. They can do it just by their name.

Bill:
Yeah, yeah, I’m at the point now where I think if anybody believes in the psychic stuff, it’s because you want to. Like, it’s pretty easy to figure out that they’re doing these cold reads and trying to walk you into believing something. And after you watch a bunch of these James Randi episodes or segments from the shows that he’s had on through the years, you start to really put it together. You’re like, OK, that’s what he’s doing. And I’m guessing, and I’m about to move on, but I’m guessing it’s a thing where. Magicians see it as an art form. You know, it’s a true art form to them. They know we know it’s not real. But there’s a different element when a con artist starts to come in. And that’s how they were seeing, well, that’s how Randy and a bunch of other magicians were seeing Yuri Geller as a con artist instead of a magician.

Scott:
Sure. Yeah. If you start manipulating people out of money and shit like that, that’s just in bad taste. That’s just a; it’s going to ruin it for everybody. Nobody’s going to trust any performer.

Bill:
Yeah, Uri Geller on this one show where he became a household name, and I forget the show it was. I watched the segment this morning and already forgot. But he was saying as he’s showing this to the audiences, he’s rubbing the spoon, and he’s changing the, you know, the shape of the spoon. He’s like, you, you all can do this. I want you all to go home. I want you to talk to your staff. I want you to talk to your spoons and your engines, and you could repair engines yourself by talking to them. Come on, asshole.

Scott:
Hehehe

Bill:
Enough with the shtick. Like, stupid people are gonna believe you, and they probably did.

Scott:
They are really not that much different than televangelists.

Bill:
I just didn’t want to go that far into it because I was afraid to, but…

Scott:
off, but it’s really along the same lines.

Bill:
It’s really along the same lines. They, I watched this one where the guy said to the people in the, I don’t know the words, I’m not religious, I hope you all don’t hold that against me, but they had said to the congregation, is that the people

Scott:
Yes.

Bill:
all sitting around? He says Jesus wants you to buy me a jet. Jesus wants you to buy me a jet to help me spread the word of God. He wants you to buy me this Gulfstream jet. I’m like,

Scott:
was actually he wants you to buy me this newer version of this jet. I already have this other jet, but I need to fly in the newest version of the Gulf Stream, and they did.

Bill:
Yeah. It must be a good gig because think about who the two were, Tammy Faye and Jim Baker.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
Right?

Scott:
Yep.

Bill:
As humiliated as they got, Jim Baker came back. He tried it again. Going off the rails again.

Scott:
Yeah

Bill:
Well yeah, anyway, go back, check out James Randi. There’s a whole universe of this kind of fun little drama if you like drama as much as I do.

Scott:
I’ve been watching some things. I checked out Cocaine Bear last night.

Bill:
I saw that. What did you think of it?

Scott:
It was fun for what it was.

Bill:
Yeah, that’s the kind of horror movie I like. It’s so silly that it’s like, all right, I can get into this. If it’s realistic, it’s just real-life fucking murder. But when it’s like a high cocaine beer making funny faces, that’s a good time.

Scott:
Yeah, and honestly, this is not a spoiler at all, but to think that was what the fuck was his name? Who’s the guy from Goodfellas? Just died, the actor. and cocaine bear.

Bill:
Oh yeah, really utter.

Scott:
When I was watching, all I could think was like, oh, this is gonna be Ray Liotta’s last on-screen death scene. Let me try that again. As I was watching that, I kept thinking like, oh, this is gonna be Ray Liotta’s last on-screen death, and it was like… ..Hilariously comical.

Bill:
We just had an episode about actors’ final movies, and we totally forgot Cocaine Bear.

Scott:
I know, I know, yep. I also checked out some Wes Anderson. I watched the Royal Buda, Grand Budapest Hotel. I know you’re not a Wes Anderson fan, but his dark comedies are pretty funny.

Bill:
There’s no reason I’m not a fan. Yeah, he just never got through to me, and I don’t know why. If I had to start with his movies, where do you suggest I jump in?

Scott:
Hmm, Royal Tannenbaum’s is probably the best way to start. Or the Life Aquatic with Steve’s Azou.

Bill:
Okay.

Scott:
That’s a good one, too. But I also know the waters are kind of tainted because I know you think Bill Barry’s a dickhead now with all the ships coming out about him, so you may have a different feeling than you than I had when I watched it.

Bill:
You’d be surprised; I have some talents, I can actually have two dependent thoughts. Sorry,

Scott:
I’m out.

Bill:
two independent thoughts at the same time. One, Bill, you’re a dick. Two, Bill, you’re entertaining me here. This is actually a very good performance, so I’ll be able to put it aside.

Scott:
Then either the Life Aquatic or the Royal Tannenbaum’s. Either one’s good. Rushmore’s good too.

Bill:
Rushmore was that? Okay, when that came out, I remember Jason Schwartzman; there was kind of a buzz about it. Is that his first movie, Wes Anderson?

Scott:
I don’t know. I don’t know him well enough to know his whole history.

Bill:
Yeah, there’s a rabbit hole I have to go down.

Scott:
Grand Budapest was pretty good, had in all the Owen Wilson was there. Wow, we’ve been doing this

Bill:
Wow,

Scott:
a lot lately with Owen Wilson.

Bill:
that’s great. Funnier every time.

Scott:
was there briefly, Bill Murray was there briefly, Jason Schwartzman was there briefly. They’re all in there. Adrian Brody’s in there. Like, he has his people,

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
Do you know? So, that’s what I’ve been watching. That and a lot of YouTube.

Bill:
We got a letter to go over, but before we go into that, are you in the mood for a surprise game?

Scott:
Yeah, unless

Scott:
I love it.

Bill:
That’s it. And the audience will never know, though. I fucking dive-bombed the show again.

Scott:
They won’t hear any of this.

Bill:
So I was thinking a lot of, you know, I’m still at a high from that Extreme concert we talked about, and I told you guys how I ran up like a complete buffoon to the front of the stage and like a little fanboy. I fist-bumped the singer of Extreme, but I had to yell his name out to get his attention like a little diva. I screamed, pay attention to me, Gary Sharone and he whipped his head around and looked at me, and fist bumped me and then just started laughing and just started laughing, and he may be so happy with that laugh. I’m thinking. you know that guy’s a good guy. Like, if this makes you crack up, you got a great sense of humor, and you’re the kind of guy I wanna hang out with. And I’ve thought about, you know, sometimes reading a story or hearing a story about a celebrity being bad, you know, that stuff goes around. So

Scott:
Oh yeah.

Bill:
there are bad celebrities, and there are good celebrities out there. Wouldn’t it be a shame if somebody went and reported all of these good and bad stories to a website? for me to

Scott:
sure

Bill:
And then make a game out of it? Ha ha

Scott:
I was going to say the fact we’re playing a game makes me think this happened.

Bill:
ha!

Bill:
This happened. Just a dopey little article that I found on Yahoo. Does anyone still read Yahoo? Somehow it still comes up on my radar. This article simply, okay, this is just republished from BuzzFeed. 25 of the nicest and nastiest celebrities people have ever met. Now, I’m just gonna, just gonna kind of make this up as I go. All right. I’m gonna say the name, and you’re gonna tell me, is this a good person or a dickhead, McGee?

Scott:
Alrighty

Bill:
While at an urgent care in Beverly Hills, I met Ashton Kutcher. I was sick and stressed and couldn’t find the office. My anxiety took over. I crumpled into a tiny ball and put my head in my hands. Something happened a moment later, Scott. Was it a positive or negative experience from Ashton Kutcher?

Scott:
I think Ashton Kutcher’s a good guy from everything I’ve read about.

Bill:
A moment later, someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was okay. I looked up, and there was Ashton pushing a stroller with his baby. He helped me up and walked with me to the doctor’s office. I wish I had never been so sick during that encounter. Nevertheless, his kindness and warmth were deeply appreciated. That’s

Bill:
cool. See, that’s a good story.

Scott:
the kind of media that I’ve heard about Ashton Kutcher.

Bill:
I know he’s a big investor now. He’s not even on TV so much. Maybe he’s not on TV at all; I don’t know. But I know he’s taken a lot of his money from his early gigs and reinvested them in businesses, and some of them took off. So he’s awfully fucking rich behind the

Scott:
Not only

Bill:
scenes

Scott:
that.

Bill:
because of some of his smart decisions.

Scott:
Sure, not only that, but he was also really big into stopping child trafficking, sex trafficking, stuff like that. He’s been in front of Congress talking about, you know, steps he’s taken with this group that he started to end child sex trafficking.

Bill:
Maybe I ought to stay in his lane.

Scott:
Jesus Christ

Bill:
Cut That’s cool, so not all celebrities suck. But

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
let me name another one. Maybe this one sucks. Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Scott:
Hmm

Bill:
I

Scott:
just

Bill:
met

Scott:
hearing

Bill:
Lillia

Scott:
the

Bill:
Jewy.

Scott:
name. Oh, one more time

Bill:
I met Julia Louis-Drives in line for the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland. She was right in front of us with her kids, and it was clear she was on a family outing. This was right after Seinfeld had ended, and I was a huge fan of the show. I didn’t want to draw attention to her or anything, so I just smiled at her. Dot, dot, dot. What happened next, Scott? Was it a positive thing or a negative thing?

Scott:
to say a negative thing, but I don’t know if that makes her a dickhead McGee. I mean, she’s that with her family. She probably just wants to exist. I don’t know. I think it’s going to be a negative thing, but I don’t think it’s going to be enough to paint her as a straight-up dickhead.

Bill:
And like you’re thinking, I didn’t want to draw attention to her or anything. So I just smiled at her, and she smiled back. We ended up chatting about Disneyland and what rides we had been on. Just as she was getting on the ride, she turned around and smiled and winked at me. I’m convinced that was her way of saying thank you for not interrupting her day with her family. The friend I was with didn’t realize who she was and was like, Oh, that lady was so nice.

Scott:
Oh, so I was wrong. I’m glad I was wrong.

Bill:
All right, this is a fun one. Central Intelligence did some filming in Boston in my friend’s neighborhood. Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, they were both around. One was a nice guy. And one, as it says here, is a total jackass. Who is a nice guy? Who is the jackass?

Scott:
Well, we’ve been talking about him quite a bit. I wanna think Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s a nice guy, but I bet you he was the jackass. Kevin Hart’s a Philly guy. He could have just been Philly. This could go either way, but I’m gonna say Kevin Hart’s a nice guy.

Bill:
Apparently, Dwayne Johnson was so courteous and very fan-friendly. He loved interacting, offered up smiles and hugs in conversations, the works, gave autographs and made people smile when he had the time. Kevin Hart was a total jackass that didn’t want to be bothered. He went out of his way to make sure nobody talked to him or got near him, and he had just the worst holier-than-thou attitude.

Scott:
Was this any time around Super Bowl 52, where the Eagles beat the shit out of the New England Patriots?

Bill:
He was pretty drunk then. So he might still just be like having a hangover. This might be the day after. He was just

Scott:
Okay,

Bill:
in a bad mood.

Scott:
I could just see them being in Boston and him just keeping his head low as a Philly guy, not one to be hassled by, you know, Southies.

Bill:
I hated that. For anybody who doesn’t know what we’re talking about. Being Philly’s… Being Philly guys, right? Keith… Keith, you’re not Keith, you’re Scott. Being Philly guys, Scott and I were like, you know, super excited for the Eagles to fucking finally win a Super Bowl and there’s… You know… Not Wentz,

Scott:
Front…

Bill:
come on, what’s his name?

Scott:
Brady?

Bill:
R guy.

Scott:
Oh, it was a fucking Nick Foles.

Bill:
I keep, I…

Scott:
Big Nick, Big Dick Nick.

Bill:
And there’s Nick Foles, and he’s holding up that damn trophy, and he looks so good. I got a picture holding that exact trophy. I’m so proud of that moment. And then he looked to the right, and there’s Kevin Hart, drunk, trying to climb up onto the podium. Did you see that? I thought that’s what you were talking about.

Scott:
Yeah, glomming onto that moment.

Bill:
Yeah. Okay, it’s getting fun. I once spilled a very large, very colorful drink on Kate Hudson. How do you think this went?

Scott:
I hope good. I want it to be a good experience.

Bill:
My girlfriend and I ended up in a VIP area at a music festival totally by accident. We weren’t supposed to be there, but we walked right in, not knowing it was restricted. Since we were already there, we decided to stay. We ended up in a corner so as not to draw any attention to ourselves, and I walked over to the bar occasionally to get us drinks and bring them back. A few hours later, sorry for the exposition; I guess I could have cut this one down. A few hours later, and more than a few hours later, my girlfriend decided she had enough; she had to have one more margarita. in one of those yard glasses and attempted to bring one back with a few beers. Long story short, she soaks Kate Hudson, but Kate Hudson was incredibly awesome about it. And luckily, my girlfriend had an extra shirt with her that she could change into. So Kate Hudson basically took the shirt of the girl that spilled the drink on her and just wore that and said, C’est la vie.

Scott:
That’s great. What are you gonna do? You can’t unspill the drink. Plus, those yard glasses are the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever seen in my life. So impractical.

Bill:
Trying to find one of the dirty ones.

Scott:
Yeah,

Bill:
One of the mean ones.

Scott:
when you gonna

Bill:
Yeah, these are all good.

Bill:
Alright, I’ll give you two more. My uncle met Harrison Ford once.

Scott:
Ha ha ha.

Bill:
Uh oh. He’s a helicopter mechanic and was doing repairs on one of his helicopters. What did he think of Harrison Ford?

Scott:
Hmm, Dickhead.

Bill:
Mickey. I think you’re in. too gimmicky. He said he’s an incredibly nice and down-to-earth guy. He’s just very private. He took my uncle and some other people out to lunch as a thank-you, and they went to this tiny restaurant in the middle of nowhere in New York. Apparently, he has a few out-of-the-way restaurants that he likes to go to where he won’t be bothered by the paparazzi.

Scott:
Okay.

Bill:
And I thought that was interesting because we’ve been watching and talked about it. We’ve been watching some interviews with him lately. We’re like, he’s kind of a weird guy.

Scott:
Oh, big time.

Bill:
Alright, I’ll give you my last one. and then we’ll do a quick speed round. Jared Leto, This person

Scott:
Hmm

Bill:
had met Jared Leto at a radio station. I don’t even think I think you know the answer. I think everybody does the answer.

Scott:
Ugh.

Bill:
I’ll just read what it says.

Scott:
Go ahead.

Bill:
I worked for a radio station and had to deal with him a couple of times, and he was awful, awful. And he was awful. The ego on him is truly massive, and he’s a gigantic creep. And if you know much about him in real life, yes, he’s a gigantic creep. But actually, the article really named a bunch of people. I don’t know how many of these you know. Mindy Kaling is supposed to be amazing.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
Everybody’s amazing. Keegan-Michael Key is amazing. Gordon Ramsay isn’t mean; he’s actually amazing. Oscar Isaac is amazing. Topher Grace is amazing. So most of these people were amazing until you get to like some of the ones that you really knew were dickheads and always heard about it. Some of them. Like Mariah Carey.

Scott:
Oh, yeah, there’s a lot going on there. Big-time diva.

Bill:
Right.

Scott:
But you can add your buddy Gary to the list of nice guys.

Bill:
Who’s Gary?

Scott:
Gary, the singer for Extreme.

Bill:
Oh my God. That’s right.

Scott:
Jesus Christ.

Bill:
I can’t. That’s embarrassing.

Scott:
So you can add your buddy, Gary.

Bill:
right.

Scott:
to the list of nice guys.

Bill:
He’s on there, man. He’s right there with Sacha Baron, Cohen, Tony Hawk. A lot of nice guys.

Scott:
You know what? I’m surprised that this article had such a positive slant.

Bill:
Yeah, these days, positivity doesn’t sell.

Scott:
Absolutely.

Bill:
You know what? Sex doesn’t even seem to sell anymore. You don’t see sexy commercials anymore.

Scott:
sex is everywhere

Scott:
everywhere.

Bill:
it’s just everywhere, every damn where. Now it’s just controversy. And it’s so political.

Scott:
All we sell is fear, man. Fear is what sells now.

Scott:
uncertainty of the unknown and of others and of outsiders and polarization, and this is what sells in today’s world.

Bill:
Alright, I got two more things. I got male, and I got a fuck-up-ery.

Scott:
I have a fuck up real add to.

Bill:
Do you want to do mail from Joanne?

Scott:
Who said it? Yes.

Bill:
Oh, who’s Julian? Hey, we got some mail.

Scott:
Oh, it’s been a while.

Bill:
We got some mail. This was very nice. This comes from Joanne, just at, well, Joanne. We actually have a female listening.

Scott:
at

Bill:
I

Scott:
this.

Bill:
I was sure we only had men listening to our show. So that’s awesome. Actually, I know Michelle listens to Brother

Scott:
I know

Bill:
Michelle.

Scott:
a few girls that listen, and I know a few women that listen.

Bill:
My wife listens, I think. She says she does, but again, we have no metrics to be able to prove or deny any of this. Do you really know girls that listen?

Scott:
Yeah, Rosie listens. Katie L

Bill:
No

Scott:
listens,

Bill:
way.

Scott:
she says. Yeah.

Bill:
Stop. I don’t believe any of that.

Scott:
That’s what they told me.

Bill:
So Joanne

Scott:
See ya.

Bill:
says, just to add something on Jim Belushi since his name was recently brought up as the brother of John Belushi, and you guys mentioned what he’s doing now. It so happens he had a show on whatever channel, and I believe he gave up Hollywood and has a farm in Oregon and grows marijuana. And I don’t believe it for medical purposes. That’s I like that little addition. Apparently, pot is legal in Oregon. I used to watch his show, although it was short-lived. So, in reality, it fits the theme of your podcast regarding actors’ last movies. Sort of, yeah. What was the show? I don’t remember. I do remember he had a show where he was like a dad, but I can’t remember what the show was called.

Scott:
It’s like, according to Jim or something

Bill:
Something

Scott:
along

Bill:
like that.

Scott:
those lines. Yeah, I do remember seeing a TV show on A&E or TLC where he was showing how he’s growing weed and making inroads in the legalization of recreational marijuana. But I forgot all about that. That is funny, though.

Bill:
Yeah, she says his acting career may have died. However, he’s probably making a boatload of money in the pot and could care less about the actor’s strike.

Scott:
I’m sure of it. Yeah, but he even tried to turn that weed business into reality TV, I think.

Bill:
What channel?

Scott:
Like I said, TLC or

Bill:
Oh.

Scott:
A&E or Discovery or, you know, one of those things we have like my 10,000-pound life or two large sisters or a ghost ruined my life or, you know, all those

Bill:
Ha

Scott:
reality

Bill:
ha.

Scott:
kind of bullshit TV shows, something like that.

Bill:
I like that I asked what channel after you write them all.

Scott:
No, it’s

Bill:
Or

Scott:
okay.

Bill:
you said the one.

Scott:
You may be partaking in some of Mr. Belushi’s products for all we know.

Bill:
Haha, not at the moment. I’m more like the radio guy. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, cuz I was busy reading the next line.

Scott:
Uh-huh.

Bill:
Oh, Professional broadcasters. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know

Scott:
You

Bill:
how

Scott:
just.

Bill:
you keep the conversation going while you’re reading and queuing up the next segment, So it’s an art form

Scott:
You just may me. Just bitched last week how Amy did that same

Bill:
Hahaha

Scott:
the thing to you, and you just did it to me.

Bill:
Yeah,

Scott:
You

Bill:
yeah,

Scott:
dirty bastard.

Bill:
man. She’s yelling at her. She’s starting it. She’s setting a bad precedent. She’s

Scott:
Two

Bill:
rubbing

Scott:
wrongs

Bill:
off

Scott:
don’t

Bill:
on

Scott:
make

Bill:
me.

Scott:
a right. Two wrongs don’t make a right, though.

Bill:
I’m an old dog. I’ll fall for it. I’d go for anything. No, no, that doesn’t work. Old dogs don’t learn it. Cut that. Hey, you know what? We also got, hey, you know what? Even though we got some mail. How do I wanna say this? Hey, you know what? We got some mail, but we also got some fuck-up-eries.

Scott:
Okay, I have one.

Bill:
So, oh, I wanna hear what yours is. Because I wanna see if this is the one that matches Brother Steve’s.

Scott:
Uh, just listening back to last week’s episode, I realized that in looking at back-to-school and school-themed comedy movies, I Can’t believe I forgot fast times at Ridgemont High

Bill:
Wow. You know what, though? I don’t remember that being a back-to-school movie.

Scott:
Well, it was a high school

Bill:
Just remember

Scott:
movie.

Bill:
it is a school movie.

Scott:
I mean, Ferris Bueller really wasn’t even a back-to-school movie. It was more of a cutting-school movie. But if that made the list, Fast Time certainly should.

Bill:
Yeah, Amy had said to me when she came over, she goes, she goes, I got one. She goes, he even played the music for Grease 2, but you didn’t mention any of the Grease movies. I was like, well, Scott doesn’t really like the Grease movies, so it probably didn’t even pop into his head.

Scott:
Plus, their musicals are not comedies. I don’t think they’re funny, so they’re more musicals. They weren’t going to make the cut, but they seem confused, could have made the list, too, but it didn’t. But fast times should have probably before any of those things we just mentioned there. But what’s Brother Steve have to say?

Bill:
Well, he caught you on one that I heard it go by, and I went, ah, I think he’s right, but that might not be. He says Scott mixed up the French connection because we talked about William Friedkin dying

Scott:
Yes.

Bill:
and the Italian job. The Italian job had the Mini Coopers.

Scott:
Oh, Mini Cooper’s. He’s absolutely right. Yeah.

Bill:
All right. So we’ve cleared the air. We have fixed this. Nobody’s mad at us anymore.

Scott:
are getting internationally canceled because I confuse the French and the Italians. God damn

Bill:
We were

Scott:
it.

Bill:
just breaking through to, where were we, Estonia? Yeah.

Scott:
Estonia, yeah. Number 12 is still in Estonia. Hold them strong.

Bill:
They love American pop culture told to them by two old dudes.

Scott:
I’ll own that; you were absolutely right, Steve.

Bill:
What do you say? Do you want to talk about something else?

Scott:
Do you want to talk about 1980s and 90s consumerism?

Bill:
Are we going all the way back to Reganomics and that kind of stuff?

Scott:
Some of this falls into that. Yeah, absolutely. Now, when

Bill:
Let’s

Scott:
I proposed

Bill:
talk.

Scott:
this, you told me I was pretty much going to have to carry this show because you would change the channel whenever any of these things came on. And I’m telling you, some of these products, some of these commercials; there is no way in hell you missed this back in the day. Now, in looking at infomercials, there’s kind of two different categories of infomercials. The ones that my brother and I watched on Saturday mornings were like the full-on informational marketing programs that were on for like an hour. They would always have a host, and then they would have the presenter come on and cut things in half or bake or all that shit. And then there were the ones that were just like straight-up 60-second commercials that they would intersperse in between regular commercial breaks. So I kind of broke down between the two of them here. I think I’m going to start with the commercial ones first. No particular order. All these things are going to have theme songs or lines or things that are such pop culture things. These were definitely on your radar, Bill. I don’t care how, but you tried to avoid them. It was impossible. With that, I think I have to start with 1984’s The Clapper. Do you remember The Clapper?

Bill:
Absolutely. See, you’re right. Now, how could I have forgotten the clapper?

Scott:
Now, the clapper was one where it only tried again. The clapper was one where he only seemed to ever be advertised around Christmas time. They really push this as a thing where you can clap your hands and turn on your Christmas tree. That was always a big part of the commercial. And I’m almost positive that at first, when it first came out in 84, you could only purchase this. Through the television, you would call the telephone number; you would get the number, you give your credit card, and they would mail you the clapper. Over time, like many of these things, over time, it became available at your local Walgreens, or, you know, they would always direct you to certain stores to go to. But the Clapper is one that started off as a 60-second commercial with that catchy theme. Clap on, clap off, the Clapper.

Bill:
I’m sorry. I remember the commercial had an old lady laying in bed, and I kind of looked at her like, oh, this is a neat product; you know, she doesn’t have to get out of bed, she’s an old person, but then I remember going, but I want it too, and I’m a young kid, and I have no excuse to not get out of bed and be lazy.

Scott:
And to paint the rest of that picture, the old lady wakes up and turns over the lamps on the television. She claps her hands, and both turn off, and she quickly turns back over and goes right back to bed.

Bill:
Yes, I remember it was like some really violent jerk back to bed. What was she in such a rush? It was like an annoyance, like, oh god, I gotta turn the lights off.

Scott:
I’m sorry.

Bill:
Right, that was the vibe

Scott:
We really

Bill:
she gave me.

Scott:
that was totally the vibe, and it definitely sold the clapper. Nowadays, fast forward, we all have smart outlets and smart light bulbs, and you just, hey, turn off the lights. Off goes the lights. Off goes the television.

Bill:
I know, it’s great.

Scott:
It’s a problem with the past, but the clapper may have been the original as far as smart homes.

Bill:
I’ve thought about the clapper many times since yelling to my assistant that I don’t want to say the G word because it’ll wake up but

Scott:
Exactly.

Bill:
yeah, and it’ll be like turn off the lights, and I’ll be like, that’s just like the clapper, so cool.

Scott:
How about another hit from the 80s? Life Alert.

Bill:
Yes. Oh my god. You’re right. That was everywhere.

Scott:
And to remind you of this, all I have to say is help. I’ve fallen. And I can’t get

Scott:
actually copyrighted that saying, and they didn’t copyright it until the late 1990s, but Life Alert actually owns that phrase.

Bill:
Everybody was saying it. It was like every joke used it. Everybody would just think about that commercial and use that joke or use that line. You’re right; that was pretty fucking big.

Scott:
Let’s jump over to one of the full-length ones. This one here came from 1991, so I would have been 11. The Thigh Master.

Bill:
Suzanne Summers.

Scott:
Suzanne Summers, indeed. Yes, she pushed this whole thing. This was a whole half-hour, if not an hour-long, commercial of her using the five master while wearing a very high-cut leotard.

Bill:
You’re kidding. So wait a minute. So it was just like a workout video, and they turned into an infomercial?

Scott:
No! Kind of. And then she’d be talking to other people and saying, like, look how much you can really feel the burn after just a few moments. And yeah, that’s what it was. Look how toned I am in her Reebok princess high tops.

Bill:
It worked on my mother. She had one. I’ve never once seen her use it, but I just remember seeing it laying around once in a while and like, you know, I was gonna try to do this, Suzanne Summers. So I put it between my legs. I’m like, gee, what the fuck is this? Like it’s too strong for a kid.

Scott:
I think the Fire Master, you know, even in the present day, there are still some infomercials that are really pushing like get in shape, health type things. I’m thinking of the Shakeweight that came out not that long ago. I say not that long ago. It’s probably been 10, 15 years. Remember, the Shakeweight was a whole infomercial.

Bill:
Yeah, yeah, I remember that. They had a great cameo in Thor,

Scott:
I remember some

Bill:
Ragnarok, remember?

Scott:
Yeah, I do. I remember some really great parodies that came out about the Shake Weight.

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
Saturday Night Live did some stuff. That was good.

Bill:
Right. I remember that.

Scott:
The earliest one I have on here is a 1978 Ginsu knife, as you mentioned at the top of the show. And Ginsu knives were always great. That was another half-hour long one, if not an hour long, where they would cut everything from, you know, frozen broccoli to the front of a leather boot and then go back and just slice that tomato thin as can be.

Bill:
That’s right, the boot. I used to really enjoy them cutting that boot. That was very satisfying.

Scott:
They cut a tin can in half. They cut everything and never needed sharpening. It never needed sharpening.

Bill:
So you’re telling me that came out in 70, 78.

Scott:
78 was when it very first premiered. I don’t know if the infomercial was that well-polished in 78. It was probably not until like 84, 85 till we had what I remember as the Ginsu infomercial. But yeah, into knives. In fact, the name Ginsu was just something that they made up to kind of like make people give the imagery of like sharp Japanese samurai swords. But yeah, it’s just a made-up word.

Bill:
cut through a nail, though, show up; well, I’m calling you everything but yours. It could cut through a nail though, Scott

Scott:
I know. And then go right back to cutting through that tomato, and it could slice a piece of paper, barely even trying.

Bill:
Yeah. So I get it now. All right. So they sold a shit ton of Ginsu knives for years, and then they just had so many fucking Ginsu knives that they had to sell another product. And if you act now, you can get some free fucking Ginsu knives.

Scott:
That was the tagline, right? But wait, there’s more. If you order now and promise to tell a friend, we’re going to send you a whole second set of Kintsu knives. Twice

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
the amount of knives for the same price.

Bill:
I remember always wondering, too, because it would be like, if you order in the next 30 minutes, I’m like, is somebody sitting there? Did somebody play this commercial while I was watching my show? And are they really sitting there going, okay, game on.

Bill:
You’re meant to have had warehouses of fucking genius knives I couldn’t get rid of.

Scott:
But Ginsu, you know, much like there was a lot of like self-help products, there was a lot of household products and probably the king. I mentioned him at the top of the show, the king of infomercials, Mr. Ron Popeel, inventor and salesman for Ronco, his own company. And he’s pushed a lot of shit over the years. The Chop-O-Matic. The food rotisserie, the food dehydrator, the Veg-O-Matic. and the pocket fisherman, which is completely out of left field.

Bill:
Oh, I remember the pocket fisherman.

Scott:
Hell yeah!

Bill:
What was that? Wasn’t it like a Swiss army knife or fishing?

Scott:
Yeah, it was basically just like a little, it reminded me of a smaller version of those things you can like to wrap up extension cords on, but it was like pocket size, and it just had a fishing line and went with a little bobber and a hook. pocket fisherman and the infomercial, he was catching fish left and right. Yep.

Bill:
Yeah. Yeah, I came up with that. He walked into a fabric store and bought a thing of thread and said, I could sell this. I could repurpose this. Put a hook on the end.

Scott:
Do you recall the popular phrase for the rotisserie? give you

Scott:
Rotisserie

Bill:
So you’re saying all that came from him.

Scott:
all that was Ronco. Yeah. And for the rotisserie, all you have to do is set it and.

Bill:
Forget it.

Scott:
You got it!

Bill:
Holy shit, it is ingrained in me because I don’t even remember that statement.

Scott:
Yeah, yeah, he would. And on this. And on this infomercial, he would have like eight different rotisseries going. One has a full turkey, one has two Cornish game hens,

Bill:
Oh yeah.

Scott:
one has on a Thanksgiving ham or an Easter ham, and he has these all going, and he just sets up the next one. He goes, it just said it. And the whole audience goes and forgets it. And he just goes on to the next one, and they all get done at different times. He comes back and. Look at that juicy as can be. You can walk around. You can walk the dog. You don’t have to sit by your kitchen anymore. You just set it and forget it.

Bill:
And you could cut that turkey with a Ginsu knife and look at all the great juices.

Scott:
Well, no, Ron Poppio has his own knife set, too. In fact, if you call now and mention this promo code, there are no promo codes. We’re still doing kind of promo codes now that you think about it. This is just the liquid IV. This is just a new extension of the call now and mentions this. And in the next 30 minutes, and yeah, but if you ordered the food dehydrator, you would get a set of five Ronco steak knives.

Bill:
So who were the big players so far? You have Ronco, and you have the Ginsu makers.

Scott:
Gintu makers and Ronco were big ones. There was also another guy in the kitchen, Chef Tony. Chef Tony sold all kinds of shit. But I don’t really remember his exact products. I just remember him as a character. And honestly, a lot of these individuals, I’m going to get into some here that were just 30-second commercials, but a lot of these products, the salesman became just as well known, famous or infamous, if you will, as the products that they were pushing. So let’s pop over here. We got the Slap Chop.

Bill:
The what?

Scott:
Slap Chop. Do you remember the Slap Chop?

Bill:
I don’t.

Scott:
well, it came out in 2008. So this is a newer thing. So 2008, by this time, we’re skipping commercials. The Slap Chop was this punk-ass kid named Vince Offer. And Vince is the guy that quoted the line, it’s making Germany. You know, the Germans make good things. And basically, the Slap Chop was just very much like Ron Popeel’s Chop-O-Matic. You take your vegetables, or you take your walnuts or whatever, and you put them underneath this thing, and you smack the shit out of it. And this blade goes down and shifts around and chops them all up. And you lift it up, and boom, there you have a nice little pile of chopped-up food.

Bill:
Oh wow. Brilliant.

Bill:
He was inspired by a hammer.

Scott:
Well, Vince didn’t stop there. Vince also went on to sell the Sham Wow.

Bill:
Oh, was he the Sham Wow guy?

Scott:
Same fucking guy. Yep. So that was Vince. Then there was Mr. Billy Mays. Remember Billy Mays’s claim to fame?

Bill:
Wait, I gotta reverse back to Vince.

Bill:
well, this guy, so this guy just basically takes an everyday thing and makes it slightly better. Because a shammy is just a cloth that is made of different material. But didn’t he get in trouble? Didn’t

Scott:
He got caught trying to buy cocaine, I believe, in a very inconspicuous way. I believe he was at a wedding party, and he was wearing a kilt, and he went out trying to squirt cocaine while wearing a kilt. And it didn’t go well for him. I believe that was the end of Vince. If

Bill:
I just

Scott:
I

Bill:
remember

Scott:
recall

Bill:
seeing

Scott:
correctly.

Bill:
him, I remember seeing pictures of him holding a ShamWow, and I remember seeing pictures of him in a mugshot.

Scott:
think that was

Bill:
So

Scott:
the

Bill:
I never

Scott:
story

Bill:
quite

Scott:
there.

Bill:
understood. That’s awesome.

Scott:
Billy Mays,

Bill:
Billy.

Scott:
remember Billy Mays?

Bill:
Billy Mays here.

Scott:
What was he saying? Do you recall?

Bill:
That’s not because I’d hear Billy Mays here, and I turn it off.

Scott:
Billy May started it off in 1997 with Oxy Clean.

Bill:
Okay, definitely remember. You know what? I’m pretty sure I saw a can of OxyClean in our house.

Scott:
Oxi clean

Bill:
So is

Scott:
the

Bill:
that…

Scott:
the powder you mix with water, and then you can get out iodine, rust, blood stains. You name it fucking comes out wine. You just be throwing various liquids on top of a piece of carpet and then just got his little spray bottle thereof Oxy clean and good as new

Bill:
I love those, talk about satisfying. When you watch those things, which I never believed for a second, take grass stains off like a perfectly white dress. It’s like, wow.

Scott:
That’s right.

Bill:
So this is one of those commercials.

Scott:
Exactly, exactly. And I think Billy Mays is no longer with us, either. I think he passed away. He had something happen to him in an airplane, and he died.

Bill:
I’ll bet you that had something to do with cocaine. There’s

Scott:
I don’t

Bill:
a trend

Scott:
know.

Bill:
here, I think.

Scott:
He was pretty high-energy for a guy that didn’t use the Columbia marching powder.

Bill:
That’s exactly where I was going. How did Billy Mays die?

Scott:
Google says Hypertensive heart disease.

Bill:
Yeah, hypertensive and artery disease. All right, not a funny thing. Not a funny thing. Did cocaine have anything to do with it?

Scott:
It doesn’t say it wasn’t involved. I don’t want to put that out into the world, but…

Bill:
Wait a minute, wait a minute, we gotta start over. Scrap all that. Well, right here, number one result, CNN, autopsy, cocaine a factor, and Billy Mays’ death.

Scott:
I knew it.

Bill:
How about it? How did Ron Popiel die? Please let it be a cocaine overdose. say. Yeah, let’s do one.

Scott:
I knew it. Wow.

Scott:
I think good ol’ Ron died of old age. He died of old age on top of a giant pile of money.

Bill:
Did he go out with a good reputation? I remember Weird Al did a parody of him before I was even aware of who he was. So he was a pretty big character. I mean, if Weird Al was doing a send-up on you, it must have been important.

Scott:
Yeah, I don’t know. I never heard anything bad happen to him. I never heard any kind of controversy or anything like that. His products always had a lifetime guarantee.

Bill:
I hope Billy Mays’ products do because, like I was saying earlier, I’m pretty sure we have a thing of OxyClean. And now it’s got me wondering if this is all the way from, like, 2008 or whatever he was

Scott:
Well.

Bill:
selling when he was hocking that shit.

Scott:
I’ll tell you what, OxyClean seems to be put in a lot of different laundry detergents and all kinds of stuff now like it’s like with Oxy. So like, they really throw that on a lot of different things. But not all these things were left in the kitchen or in the gym, the home gym. Some of these were just toys for kids because we can market kids now because it’s the 1990s.

Bill:
Thank you, Reagan.

Scott:
Remember Sockum Boppers? Let me try again.

Bill:
The robots?

Scott:
Remember Sockum Boppers?

Bill:
The fighting robots with the

Scott:
No,

Bill:
joysticks?

Scott:
but funny, you should mention that because they got sued by Mattel because Socom sounded too much like Rockham Socom robots.

Bill:
Right.

Scott:
Socom boppers were, quote, more fun than a pillow fight. These were giant inflatable boxing gloves that you put on your hands and just beat the fuck out of your sibling with.

Bill:
Oh, I’ve owned those. Yeah,

Bill:
I had them.

Scott:
And inflatable or not, if you punch somebody square in the face with them, fucking hurts.

Bill:
No fucking lie. Yeah, because they don’t cushion your fist; they only cushion around your hand.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
So if you’re backhanding somebody, it’s probably great.

Bill:
But if you’re punching them straight in the jaw, it offers no protection whatsoever

Bill:
to your broken jaw.

Scott:
like my nose, I think I got the wind knocked out of me before with these things. I mean, more fun than the pillow fight, maybe, but more dangerous than a heavyweight boxing match. This came out in the 1990s. I don’t have the exact year, but it sold more than five million units in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia and the UK. Five million of those fucking things. They’re now called soccer bobbins because they that lawsuit came across from Mattel, so they couldn’t use Sock’em anymore.

Bill:
So soccer.

Scott:
soccer. Yeah, they also made things like inflatable swords and inflatable shields and things like that, probably because of many complaints of people getting broken noses and concussions and, you know, things of the sort. Another toy.

Bill:
Has anyone made it inflatable underpants?

Scott:
Good God. Great question.

Bill:
Has anybody thought of this yet? I’m gonna see if I can sell that.

Scott:
There are inflatable?

Bill:
I gotta figure out a need. I’d have to figure out a good need for inflatable underpants. I wanna make them. I just don’t know why I wanna make them, so I need to; I’ll be thinking about that as we continue the show.

Scott:
Do you think you can sell them?

Scott:
a life-saving device? Or would you specifically have to say this is not a life-saving device?

Bill:
Billy Mays here. Are you a man who can’t swim, and you don’t want people to know? Well, I’ve got your solution. Inflatable Tidy Whities. Stick them under your trousers. Blow them up. Jump in. Do some cocaine.

Scott:
Are you guys tired

Bill:
Hahahaha

Scott:
of not being able to tread water when you’re high on fucking angel dust? Where are you going more? I’m fighting behind your pants!

Bill:
Yeah, it didn’t go well when too many parties were ended by somebody floating dead in the water, and it’s just their pelvis floating to the top. legs in the head just

Scott:
Nobody

Bill:
underwater

Scott:
wants to die,

Bill:
like

Scott:
ass up.

Bill:
dark shit, this will go on the after dark best of cut

Scott:
Yes, yes.

Bill:
alright, where do we leave off? I’m

Scott:
Keeping it in the toy

Bill:
surprised

Scott:
aisle.

Bill:
where’s Amy? I’m surprised she hasn’t shown up yet. This is the perfect time; I’ll be kinda slow this down cause

Scott:
Waiting

Bill:
I’ll wait

Scott:
for

Bill:
for her

Scott:
a break.

Bill:
to walk in any second

Scott:
Well, keeping it in the toy aisle. We have pillow pets. Remember pillow pets?

Bill:
No, are they like POPPLES?

Scott:
They’re not like popples. It’s almost like a regular bed pillow with an animal head on one end and feet on all four corners As like a velcro strap, you can like strap one of the long sides of the pillow to the other to make it look like a little stuffed animal, but it’s really just a bed pillow they had unicorns and Dogs and bears and alligators, and you name it. They had an animal, but you could only buy them through the television

Bill:
Sounds like those old 70s throw rugs off like the tiger. Yeah.

Scott:
Like a bearskin rug, it’s not you’re not far off. You’re not far off

Bill:
Burt Reynolds laying naked on it in front of a fireplace.

Scott:
But he wouldn’t have to be naked if he had 2009’s Snuggie. Remember

Bill:
Oh!

Scott:
that fucking cult.

Bill:
Yeah, the snuggie cult.

Scott:
Yeah, I remember Arsenio Hall wearing one like on a red carpet someplace or at a baseball game or a basketball game, Or Arsenio Hall’s there wearing like this giant cloak-looking blue snuggie

Bill:
You got to whatever he was sponsored. Who

Scott:
Maybe.

Bill:
What are you wearing? Snuggie.

Scott:
Snuggie. And to round this whole thing out, keeping it in the bedroom. Quite a controversial one here. My pillow.

Bill:
Oh yeah, we’re really modern-day now.

Scott:
very modern day. This is still going on. So MyPillow started off. You could not buy it in stores. You could only buy it by calling the number or going to the website because eventually, of course, the internet comes into this, and they direct you to the website. It’s no longer the blue screen with the yellow phone number and the visa on one side and the master card on the other. And you can pay by COD, which I still vaguely don’t understand, but you can go to the website now and buy all this stuff online. But MyPillow started off that way. You can only go to them mypillow.com. You could, you know, buy the pillows and all that. Then you started getting carried in Bed Bath Beyond and Walmarts and all these other stores. Well, guess what? We’ve gone full circle because all those people stopped carrying this product because of his political bullshit. And now he’s back to just being an online retailer.

Bill:
I read something where they talked about his business losses because he just talks about it like, yeah, oh, I lost a lot of money. You know, he doesn’t seem to mind. It’s

Scott:
And

Bill:
crazy

Scott:
by his,

Bill:
to me.

Scott:
we’re talking about Mike Lindell from MyPillow.

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
Also a cokehead. There’s a theme

Bill:
That

Scott:
here,

Bill:
was…

Scott:
man. There

Bill:
yeah!

Scott:
is a theme here. He had big-time cocaine charges in his past.

Bill:
He’s the kind of guy that makes me think about what I just saw in that last Chris Rock special when Chris Rock was talking about this new trend for products to have a political agenda. He’s like, I don’t care. He goes, I don’t want your agenda. And that’s the same thing with my pillow. Like, he could have just sold pillows. But he had to bring his agenda into it.

Scott:
Yep. It was

Bill:
But

Scott:
working

Bill:
you’re right,

Scott:
for him

Bill:
back

Scott:
for

Bill:
in

Scott:
quite

Bill:
the early…

Scott:
a while.

Bill:
Oh, it was?

Scott:
Yeah, he was a fortune selling my pillow.

Bill:
Right, because he was actually right because he was a Fox News a big advertiser there. So sure.

Scott:
Yep,

Bill:
Okay

Scott:
absolutely.

Bill:
Yeah, but in the early days, it was just no politics. Nothing. It was just look, we just got to get some fucking chopping done

Scott:
A slap chop.

Bill:
I remember Cher had one that was always on. And I can’t remember if it was before or after she had that big return where she

Scott:
You

Bill:
did

Scott:
could

Bill:
the

Scott:
turn

Bill:
voice.

Scott:
back time.

Bill:
Yeah. Where the voice was like the very first time they ever turned that vocoder all the way up. Do you believe whatever that was? Yeah. So I remember she had one

Scott:
What

Bill:
Joan

Scott:
was she selling?

Bill:
Rivers.

Scott:
Do you remember?

Bill:
Now you’ll have to look it up because she was always supposed to be too big for this kind of thing. And there she was on an infomercial. You know what. I better Google this.

Scott:
Joan Rivers sold a lot of jewelry, I remember.

Bill:
Shares 1993 infomercial for Lori Davis Haircare products.

Scott:
Mm-mm. This would have been one that I did not want.

Bill:
Yeah. I do remember probably watching some longer than usual, never quite like you, but I do remember that there’s some that will do like a small speaking segment, and then they kind of roll into a commercial package, and then they return to another talking segment, then they roll into another 60-second commercial package, and it’s just like, it’s almost like a show, and then you see commercials for the same thing that the show is talking about. It’s pretty exhausting. If you’re not in love with this product by the time they ram it down your throat for an hour, what? Something’s wrong with you.

Scott:
It was aggressive sales tactics, for sure. And they really gave that urgency of wait, 30 minutes, 30 minutes or less. And they have a cool timer counting down, but the timer didn’t mean shit. You could have written down that phone number and called it a week later. You’re still getting the same deal.

Bill:
Yeah. So QVC is in our neck of the woods. They were actually a client of mine. I’ve gone to their campus, and it’s huge. Like it’s a, it’s big money what they do. Do you feel that is basically infomercials? Cause at the end of the day, isn’t, aren’t they a channel of infomercial selling products that they carry?

Scott:
Exactly

Bill:
So

Scott:
what it is.

Bill:
are there still infomercials out there, like traditional ones, or is the home shopping networks and the QVCs just become what’s

Scott:
the big one that’s going on right now is flex seal, like flex seal. But the problem with flex seal is you can go to Lowe’s and buy flex seal. So I cross that off the list because, um, you know, they, they have the classic thing where they have the, the rowboat with the whole bottom cut out, and they have a screen door put in the bottom of the rowboat, but they sprayed it with flex seal. And now he’s out there rowing across the river.

Bill:
Ha ha ha!

Scott:
So that started off kind of like a lot of these where You couldn’t buy it. You were unable to find this in stores anywhere. You only had you were only able to buy it through the website or through the phone number. But as I think we mentioned at the top of the show, a lot of these things now are, quote, as seen on TV, where you can go to like your local department store, your local drugstore. They have a whole section. I think even Target has a whole, as seen on TV section where you can just go and find a lot of this crazy shit.

Bill:
Yeah, I’ve seen an as-seen-on-TV store. Yeah, there’s ours.

Scott:
I have a big out for this, though. I have a good wrap-up for the whole segment, but we’ll just hold off till they calm down. Is this long enough? Yeah, we go for an

Bill:
I’m like, you don’t like this job anymore. She goes, I still do. I’m like; you don’t. You can’t come home and bitch about it like this and love it.

Scott:
I got the impression that she was a fan of it the entire time I worked there. It’s been 13 years.

Bill:
That she was what?

Scott:
I never

Bill:
Hmm?

Scott:
I got the impression she was a fan of it the entire time I worked there.

Bill:
Yeah, I think she remembers what it was.

Scott:
Is she bitching about the job, or is she bitching about the people? Like coworker-wise.

Bill:
both.

Scott:
Yeah, I could certainly echo the secondary part of it. How much has changed about the primary part of it, especially on Monday? She’s an operator.

Bill:
It does. I mean, from everything I’ve studied in. Is that her coming home? From everything I’ve studied, it’s like, they’re really in some financial straits. And she told me they just got a chief revenue officer. And it’s like, you guys are about to have some serious changes in your department. Cause this guy’s brought in to make you guys work better. And she was like, uh-oh.

Scott:
Well, I met with him. I met with

Scott:
Well, the chief revenue officer was to replace the revenue. We haven’t had a revenue officer for the past two years because somebody retired, and they didn’t have anybody.

Bill:
Oh,

Scott:
We

Bill:
you

Scott:
Yeah, we always had one. Like the past year and a half, two years, we didn’t. And they have an interim guy, the guy that retired came back out of retirement. But now we actually have a new person. But I did meet with a consultant. But his words were, don’t fuck with the front end. The front end, you know, he’s like, if I can get you guys one more admission each day, you’re going to be where you have to be. It’s like my attitude is don’t fuck with the front end because you can do a little bit to improve it, but you can do a little bit that will make the entire fucking bottom fall out, too. So he’s like, I don’t want to upset the apple cart too much here.

Bill:
Yeah, I was assuming it was like, we don’t know what to do, let’s try CRO?

Scott:
No, in fact, in fact, his thing was, you guys do too much shit. Like you shouldn’t be doing all the financial stuff and doing all the sales stuff. You have too many programs you’re trying to sell. You shouldn’t be doing the physical admissions you should. He’s like; you guys do too much for what you guys do. It’s way too much. And nobody like even just training somebody is like the fact takes you six to eight weeks to train somebody how to talk on the telephone. I was like, yeah, but it’s not just on the telephone. He’s like, that’s my point. You guys do too many things. I was like, yeah, but I can’t do that. Self to the higher-ups because they’re the ones

Bill:
Right?

Scott:
that are forced to initiate on us.

Bill:
It sounds like you got a good guy there to help. Hey, Aym.

Scott:
I forgot my papers to go back in. And she was like, oh, what do you forget? And I was like, oh, I forgot all my notes for the podcast. She goes, oh, is that tonight? And I was like, yeah. So when you get home, shut the fuck up and keep those dogs quiet.

Bill:
Yeah, well, she didn’t.

Scott:
She says

Bill:
I hear her whimpering, but

Scott:
she

Bill:
hopefully

Scott:
goes,

Bill:
it’s…

Scott:
I heard I heard the dogs in the last episode. I was like, you hear the dogs in every episode.

Bill:
Everyone.

Scott:
If it’s not yours, it’s mine.

Bill:
Hey Amy? Can you close this door? That’s got to you shut those dogs up. I said I thought Scott told you to shut those dogs up.

Scott:
I was kidding.

Bill:
Yeah, please. All right, you ready? You know where

Scott:
Yeah,

Bill:
we left off?

Scott:
yep. So this is a small sampling, I’m sure, of all of them. These were some of my favorites, though, and I have a question for you. Have you ever owned any of these things?

Bill:
I don’t think so. Yes, I have. Did George Foreman’s Grill? Wasn’t that an infomercial? I owe the

Scott:
Yes,

Bill:
George Foreman grill.

Scott:
It was an infomercial. Now, this was one again that you could buy in stores and out there. But when it first came out, George Foreman was doing the deal where he was making a steak on this one and a hamburger on that one, and a chicken breast on this one. But George Foreman was an infomercial. I owned to George Foreman. I also owned a Snuggie. It might be right here in this dresser drawer, as a matter of fact.

Bill:
We need a photo for the website. You’ll be the cover of this episode.

Scott:
I can make that happen. We may have gotten rid of it, though, so I can’t make any promises. But yeah, man, these were great. These were great. And you know what? In preparation for this episode, I have another episode we’re going to do in the not-so-distant future. All those classic rock and country music, song compilations, the time life music presents, we’re going to do an episode about them, too, because I came across a lot of that shit.

Bill:
There is a power ballad that, every time I hear any one of the songs on it,

Bill:
And then, in that commercial, where it switches to the next song by a totally different band, it suddenly switches to Carrie by Europe.

Scott:
Yes. Yeah.

Bill:
I can’t listen to any one of those songs now on the radio without hearing it switch because I’m more used to the commercial than the actual songs.

Scott:
Yup. Hey, is that power balance? Turn it up!

Bill:
Oh God, yeah, good topic.

Scott:
So

Bill:
All right.

Scott:
a whole other animal. I can’t come. I can’t combine it with this one here, but there’s enough there for a standalone episode.

Bill:
Amazing.

Scott:
Stay tuned.

Bill:
Good work. Let’s do some news.

Scott:
Let’s do it.

Bill:
Here’s my first article. This comes from EW. Zachary Levi, star of Shazam 2, slams the garbage coming out of Hollywood. He says we have to actively not choose the garbage. He’s right. We didn’t go to see fucking Shazam 2.

Scott:
I love you.

Bill:
I read this headline. I laughed so hard. That’s it. I’m moving on. That’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t want to read the article. I just wanted to read the headline.

Scott:
This is like, is this news for him and other actors or is this self-affirmation to not choose shit scripts?

Bill:
Yeah, he’s still upset that he believes his movie; we talked about this news it was a news item a couple weeks ago,

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
he thinks his movie was great. He thinks it’s unfair that he got shit on. He’s like, I don’t understand, there’s bad movies, but mine was good, you guys were mean. And it’s like, no, man, your movie wasn’t good. I saw it. Can you hear the dogs? It wouldn’t be a podcast without a couple

Scott:
Grrrr.

Bill:
of growling dogs behind me.

Scott:
They

Bill:
Yeah,

Scott:
didn’t like

Bill:
we,

Scott:
it.

Bill:
no, I wonder how many times, ooh, you hear it? It’s juicy. Arr, are, they’re so ferocious. They’re two little schnauzers that play with each other. I know you all hear them every once in a while in the edits because I can’t get them out when they go crazy like that. as well use it as comp.

Scott:
as well. If you can’t beat him, join him.

Bill:
Here’s one from Variety. Elizabeth Banks. Elizabeth Banks, do you know who she is?

Scott:
She was the director of Cocaine Bear, but she was

Bill:
That’s

Scott:
also

Bill:
right.

Scott:
in Pitch Perfect and a lot of other movies. She was a 40-year-old Virgin. Yeah, she’s a lot of Joe Dabit, how movie she’s in.

Bill:
Yeah, I like her. So she made that Charlie’s Angels movie a couple of years ago.

Scott:
I don’t think I saw that one.

Bill:
Elizabeth Banks, the director of the 2019 action comedy Charlie’s Angels, recently spoke to Rolling Stone about the media’s role in the film’s gendered agenda. Banks expressed frustration that the media portrayed the movie as a feminist manifesto and focused on her being the first female director of Charlie’s Angels. She felt that this pigeonholed both her and the audience for the film. Banks also recalled having to ask for the film to be promoted to men, as the industry seemed to view it as only for women. I thought that was interesting. It’s like she didn’t want to make a movie with a political agenda. It just kind of went that way. And she’s like, listen, this isn’t a feminist movie. This is an action movie for everybody. Yeah,

Scott:
Sure.

Bill:
I remember when this came out. I remember thinking, all right, I’m not supposed to see this, so I won’t, fine.

Scott:
Yeah, but I think the Barbie movie is blowing the doors off of that theory. It’s not just women going to see the Barbie movie hit in a billion dollars in 17 days.

Bill:
Yeah. Banks currently stars in Apple’s The Beanie Bubble, available on Apple TV+.

Scott:
That’s all commercials for this.

Bill:
Is that about beanie babies?

Scott:
Yeah,

Bill:
The beanie

Scott:
I don’t think

Bill:
baby

Scott:
they call

Bill:
bubble?

Scott:
the beanie babies, but it’s exactly what it’s about. Yeah.

Bill:
I thought this was interesting from moviehole.net. Not even sure how valid that is as a new source. I just like that they’re named movie hole. What was the name of the website? Movie Poop Shoot, it clerks.

Scott:
It’s right, it’s right.

Bill:
So this reminds me of a movie poop shoot. David Ayer or David Iyer, I don’t know how to pronounce it. I’ll use Ayer. David Ayer is the director of Suicide Squad, right? The first one, not the second

Scott:
Hmm.

Bill:
one with James Gunn revealed that DC Studios co-CEO James Gunn promised him. that his director’s cut of the film, known as the Ayer cut, would be relayed; I can’t get Ayer out of my mouth. Come on, motherfucker. Ayer shared. Yeah, gonna start over, sorry. David Ayer, the director of Suicide Squad, revealed that DC Studios co-CEO James Gunn promised him that his director’s cut of the film, known as the Ayer Cut, will be released at some point. Ayer shared the update on X, formerly known as Twitter. How long’s that gonna go on? Oh.

Scott:
seen it all over the place.

Bill:
Yeah, I’m Prince, the artist formerly known as Prince. Now we’re doing that. Anyway, bye. Bye. Ayer shared an update responding to a fan who doubted the air cut would be released under guns leadership. Ayer mentioned that he spoke with Gun and teased that good things are coming. He noted that Gun has the right to establish his new universe before revisiting the past. In November 2022, though, Gunn acknowledged the fan’s desire for the future of the DC universe and stated that he’s listening and open to everything as he looks ahead to his next task as DC Studios chief. Iyer previously said that his cut of the Suicide Squad is vastly better than the theatrical version and only needs some VFX work for a full release. So I don’t know if you know about this, right? You know about the Snyder cut.

Scott:
Sure.

Bill:
the Justice League. So did you know that there was an A-R cut? Because when that Suicide Squad movie came out, it was cut up way, way more than anybody expected when they first started the production.

Scott:
And this is the one.

 

Scott:
Will Smith and the Jackal and things like this. Isn’t the one with the shark and Idris Elba and Pokedot Boy? Like that was the second one with this giant starfish. But

Bill:
Correct.

Scott:
the first one had in Will Smith as Deadshot.

Bill:
Yep, or bloodshot, I always mix them up.

Scott:
Okay.

Scott:
yeah, I don’t

Bill:
yeah.

Scott:
know. Bullseye, I don’t know.

Bill:
but it had the charming Jared Leto as the Joker. So when that came

Bill:
my God, we’re gonna watch a lot of Joker stuff. And there was hardly any Joker in it. So he got cut pretty heavily. And I don’t remember the reason why the movie was cut. I remember where the commercial came out. It was kind of like, wow, we’re interested in this. But I don’t know where the production then went off the rails because the movie was in production when the commercial came out.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
But yeah, I went and saw it. I was super disappointed. And then you started to hear these rumblings of, yeah, this wasn’t this guy’s movie. This was a movie that was recut at the last minute by producers who were panicked. And I think they were inspired; it maybe was like Deadpool or Logan or something that was big when that came out.

Scott:
Deadpool.

Bill:
They were like, hey, we have to jump, maybe it was Deadpool. We have to jump onto the bandwagon, and we have to be more like that maybe. There’s some kind of shit

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
like that where they just made some bad. business decisions on this movie, and he took it away from the creative. So,

Scott:
Hmm.

Bill:
re-releasing Suicide Squad, it’s interesting to me. I’d love to see it. I love director cuts of things. But I don’t know, is anybody really looking for this anymore?

Scott:
I mean, that raises the question I have for you. How long do you think James Gunn’s leash is over there? Like, how many things can he try and maybe revive this thing before they’re just like, Nope, you’re not the right guy either? Ask him and go about their way. I mean, I feel like anything happening at Warner Brothers right now or Max, wherever the hell you want to call it, Discovery Warner, is that what it is now? Warner

Scott:
They seem to be just the fire people and restart and rehire and reboot. Like there’s really no longevity. So how long of a lease is James Gunn really going to have to start doing shit like this?

Bill:
Unless he figures out a way to put it out as extra content on maybe Max or something like that, but I

Scott:
Baby?

Bill:
I can’t see that being a theater release. Yeah,

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
that’s a great question. I’ll bet you if he has three movie theater flops, that’ll be it. That’ll be it.

Scott:
Has that tally already started?

Bill:
I don’t know; when did they officially say it’s James Gunn’s time? Because

Scott:
I don’t know; I’m hearing positive things about this blue beetle now.

Bill:
Really?

Scott:
I’m reading that projections of ticket sales, the Blue Beetle, may be reviving the DCU.

Bill:
Wait a minute, I just read a story last week saying it’s projected to be the lowest sales ever of any kind of superhero property.

Scott:
I don’t know, man. I don’t know. That’s what I was hearing all along. I was just like, oh wait, now? That was good. But I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that.

Bill:
see. We’ll see. It looks like just another movie, like every other superhero movie. I definitely have superhero fatigue.

Scott:
Yeah, but now they can push it back. Any movie coming out now, they can push back saying that, like, well, it’s because of the strike and the stars. They used a story two weeks ago talking about how, well, the stars can’t really prove because of the strike, the stars really can’t promote the movie for the Blue Beetle. And I was like, what stars like, who are we talking about? Who’s going to make me care about this? Because I don’t.

Bill:
Yeah, that movie or yeah, that’s a strike. That’s still the only thing going on in Hollywood. It’s every story.

Scott:
think we’re in like

Bill:
And

Scott:
day 100 or approaching it if we haven’t already surpassed it. So it’s been at least three months already. Can you believe that?

Bill:
Brutal.

Scott:
And I was

Bill:
And I

Scott:
hearing

Bill:
was thinking

Scott:
that

Bill:
of…

Scott:
people are saying that if they want new content come January, they better start writing in September in order to have scripts fleshed out and sets built and everything planned and blueprinted and storyboarded. You better start writing yesterday if you want shit out by January one. So clocks are ticking.

Bill:
Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about some of the demands. Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

Scott:
The only thing I hear as far as updates on the strike is that they made a meeting. To meet and set up future meetings, there’s a meeting about meetings but no negotiations. And I’m hearing a lot of this through Kevin Smith and Fat Man Beyond. They talk a lot about the strike there. They’re both in the guild. He and Mark are co-stars.

Bill:
He has some kind of a pass because of his independent status.

Scott:
Yeah, yeah,

Bill:
All that stuff is so complicated.

Scott:
It really seems like splitting hairs. I don’t know how it all works. But he’s also a theater owner, so he sees it from the writing perspective, the acting perspective, the studio perspective. And now he’s actually calls himself a movie presenter. He’s part of NATO, the North American Theater Association. So he sees it from all sides, so I don’t know.

Bill:
I know one of the things they’re worried about is AI taking their jobs. And somebody said the other day, and I can’t remember who it was, it might have been Brian Cranston or somebody, somebody you respect. And he made the statement. He’s like, look, you know, AI is coming. Please respect the human art. And I was thinking about that, and I was like, that’s what you guys are doing. Like you guys are really not accepting this change, I will not turn around at this point. It’s going to happen. We’re watching how the music industry handled Napster. Eventually, you’re gonna have to own this, you know?

Bill:
writers and everybody, yeah, sure. Dude, there’s AI music machines now. Like they sound great, they sound great. So I really do think these writers are, they’re in trouble. They’re in trouble. They have an interesting… Lifestyle carved out, they have a cool career, But this is just one of those changes that are coming around the corner, and it is going to absolutely change their lives, and many are gonna leave the industry, and many are gonna wash out where they have Not washed out before because AI can write as shitty as some of the shittiest ones. I got a story here. It’s about the Gran Turismo movie Gran Turismo straws stalls. Did you know there was a Gran Turismo movie?

Scott:
I’ve seen it advertised on YouTube.

Bill:
Who needs it? It’s a

I’m getting a little fired up, but this is like this is the thing that I get upset about. It’s like we got to save your jobs. You wrote the fucking Gran Turismo movie. Sorry, I’m not that sad for you. And if I can write a better movie than you, I might be like, hey, I’m OK with going with AI. Sorry. Most people will be that way. I can already tell you

Scott:
behind-the-scenes action here. We have a list of show ideas when we try to come up with main segments and stuff to put out content. We asked Chachi PT to write us a list of 20 episodes. Give me 20 ideas. And then it was like, well, give me 20 funnier ideas.

Bill:
The

Scott:
Give me, and like, I was reading through this list, and it’s fucking vanilla, dude, like

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
if we did some of these shows. and just at face value, without a human element, it’d be worse than what we’re putting out now. No, I’m just kidding. But it’s pretty fucking bad. There’s no creativity in it. It’s all status quo. It’s all vanilla. It’s all the same as everything that already exists that I wouldn’t put out.

Bill:
My argument here is the writers now, the word or the craft rather, is going to be about taking the word that comes from AI and putting your own spin on it. It’s just the way it is. News, I work in marketing, we’re using AI all the time. Anybody who ships something written by AI to a client is an asshole and an idiot. You got to take it; then you got to fine-tune it. But getting ideas from it and getting somebody taking the grunt work away, It’s amazing. So it’s going to be here to stay. And these look, here’s another thing I can understand. I can understand the actors going; I’m afraid I sign up for a movie. They don’t want the movies to be a hit. They don’t hire me for the second one. And they just CGI my face going forward like they did with, you know, Luke Skywalker.

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
That’s a real concern that they have now. And I never thought of that when I was watching Rogue One, you know, and I saw Princess Leia’s face, but the actors are very concerned about that. I guess that’s kind of fair.

Bill:
My argument then is to sign better contracts. It sucks for Peter Cushing. That’s not fair. But going forward, just sign contracts. I say you’re not gonna use my likeness. Problem solved. So there’s a lot more nuances that I read about that I just like, these seem like such dumb little things

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
because the whole industry is turning upside down, and you guys are fighting each other while the ground is kind of swaddling both of you. And you don’t even realize it.

Bill:
parties.

Scott:
see, I can see the actor’s side of things. The writer’s side of things. I still believe that the stuff that is put out is just derivative of things already exist. I feel like creepy computers can’t create. The creativity is not there. That needs a human element. I truly believe just by the way Chad GPT and the A.I.s work. It takes things that are already out there and reorganizes them in different ways, but not in other creative ways necessarily. That’s been my experience.

Bill:
Well, what you’re getting into now is training data. So yes, you’re a thousand percent right. It sees correlations and, you know, the closeness of words to other words. It memorizes that. So when it’s writing something for you, it says the word usually comes after why, you know?

Scott:
Yeah

Bill:
And it’s like, we can, you know, put words together. And on a grander scale, it’s doing the same thing with pixels and creating images and doing the same thing with notes and creating music. You’re totally right. But then what you wanna go in and do is train it. this is what I believe is funny. This is what I believe is not funny. And then you say, now tell me some jokes, and it’ll hit you with the kind of humor that you programmed in that you like. So that’s the future of it.

Bill:
give me a Jerry Seinfeld-esque script where it’s all about observational comedy, and it might land. It might land if

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
you give it enough good comedy to use as training data.

Scott:
I mean, we talked the other week about that South Park episode that was created by AI, and there was a Seinfeld 13 minutes snippet vignette that was put together by AI. And everybody says, like, it wasn’t funny. Like, it was passable as something in that world, but it wasn’t funny.

Scott:
Well, here’s my pledge to you. All the words I say on this show, I write- All the words I say on this show, I’ve written down on these notepads here. I’m still using a pen; I’m still using paper. The right ones, the wrong ones. The Italian job, the French connection, all of them. The fuck-upper-es, I own it, it’s mine, it’s not AI, and I stand by that. Now and henceforth.

Bill:
And most of the stuff that I do is AI. For example, this next summary from The Verge, Netflix, have you heard about this? Have you heard? Netflix has become, Netflix has become, Netflix. Netflix has begun testing its cloud-streamed games in Canada and the UK. The company’s VP of games, Mike Verdu, I like that, Verdu described this as a limited beta test available to a small number of members. This marks a. This marks a significant step in Netflix’s gaming ambitions as it expands its gaming offering beyond mobile devices to TVs and web browsers via cloud streaming. It talks about a couple of games called Oxenfree and Molehughes Mining Adventure. I’ve never heard of it. I have a sense that these aren’t really popular games. These are more just kind of like phone app games and

Scott:
Yeah.

Bill:
hey, isn’t that cool? You can now play phone app-esque games on Netflix. That could be cool, but I’ve seen a lot of… other people try to put this out, and it never takes.

Scott:
Like Roku tried this.

Bill:
They did?

Scott:
I mean, Roku, yeah, the Roku controller has an A and B button at the bottom that was made to play mobile-type games on your phone. But Google Stadia came out, and that thing crashed and burned after about a year and a half, two years. So there’s

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
other big companies that have tried this that are even more established in the gaming world that it’s not catching on. I mean, it’s

Bill:
Yeah.

Scott:
going to be tough to catch Sony and Nintendo and Microsoft at this point.

Bill:
said in the article that people will use their phones as the controller

Bill:
which I guess can work, but I don’t like that experience. I like joysticks, man!

Scott:
Right?

Bill:
I don’t want a slimy little glass from my phone to be my controller.

Scott:
One nice thing that games are doing now is the fact that you can like it. Multiplayer play across different platforms used to be back in the day; like you and I played Xbox, we couldn’t play Call of Duty with somebody that played PlayStation. That’s all kind of gone out the window now. Online gaming is online gaming, regardless of the platform that you use. And that’s a pretty cool improvement. So if they can build that into something through Netflix, maybe. But it sounds like they’re starting with some hokey ass games.

Bill:
That whole cross-play thing, because I’m playing Diablo 4 now on the PlayStation 4, and everybody seems to have it on every other thing but what I got it on. So I’m like, hey guys, I figured out how to do this. Let’s meet. Let’s meet. Let’s go. Your buddy Jack, let’s go. My buddy Jess, everybody. Brian, Jen, all these people we were talking about meeting. I haven’t seen one of these motherfuckers online yet.

Scott:
Well, it’s good in theory.

Bill:
I do, yeah, I cut onions for fun. I know you’re not a big social media guy, but Instagram ads have a reputation of being just absolute garbage junk that it’s like, oh my God, why didn’t I think of this? This is the greatest invention ever, and you get it, and it doesn’t work. So maybe that’s where the future of infomercials has gone, right into Instagram’s advertising network.

Scott:
Pop-up ads are modern-day infomercials, without a doubt. where we live.

Bill:
Well, I’m sure Mr. Popeil loved having his name mentioned on her show.